Why Me?

The summer sun blazes down on the town’s population. Couples roam the streets among the quaint shops. One couple laughs harmoniously, unaware of the world around them, while another holds a stiff muscled girl, attempting to strut on her own. Even more people, walking alone and walking with others, saunter through the streets. And where do I come in? I’m the third wheel of one of those groups. Instead of listening to my best friend and her boyfriend prattle on about mushy gushy stuff, I find more interest in the people I don’t even know. I have more reasons to pay attention to them than I do to my friends.

One of the biggest reasons for my curiosity in people has to do with trust. I don’t trust people, and I know that I’m not the only one. Being able to read people allows you to judge how much trust you can put into a person. It doesn’t matter how fast you can read people, so long as you can. Trusting a person, who you think is flighty, may be a risk. When you need her most, she could very well flit away, not caring that you were at a breakage point. Also, there’s reading moments. A best friend, whom you trust with every minuscule detail that goes on in your life, can become the most belligerent person when angered and the most self-centered person when upset. With the ability to read when she’s in one of those moods before she even speaks, you can avoid trusting that person at the wrong time. Simply stated, reading people is majorly kick-butt when deciding how much to trust someone.

On a shallow side, people-watching alleviates awkward moments. I am one of those people who tend to find themselves in awkward moments; it’s wonderful being the odd man out. If you are someone like me, people-watching is your solution. Unless you find your awkward situation in a secluded area, entertainment and education lie within those around you. The more people around other than you, the more easily removed from the situation. Although, it’s usually helpful to multitask. This means keeping track of the group, what they’re doing and what they’re saying, as well as watching people. This is important because you don’t want to miss a chance to be less of an outcast should your friend present you with that chance. While the actual ability to read people isn’t on the vanguard here, the attempt to learn is on the vanguard. Here, it’s the attempt to learn that distracts your mind from the present situation.

Hobbies are also a major role in people’s lives, and understanding how people function can sometimes help people with their hobbies. Some of the things I do that require knowledge of people include writing and drawing. These interests can be used to convey the emotions of real or fictional characters. In order to do this efficiently, a basic level of understanding is needed. You can’t depict a person, who is angry, if you don’t know how an angry person acts. Even drawing requires noticing the difference in appearance, the muscles that tighten and the overall posture. The effect of these, as well as many other hobbies, increases as your understanding of people increases.

People are an ever evolving species. Our culture is ever-changing and the way in which we interact changes with it. Staying on top of how people and how they work has endless benefits. And it doesn’t hurt that people-watching can be done pretty much anywhere. There’s no reason to not make an attempt to understand those around you. So, should you find yourself waiting in a Dunkin Donuts for your friend or hot date, take the five minutes to further understand; it’s worth it.

word count: 629

It's the Spanish Sparkle *

Sitting in Spanish, listening to Sra. Moreno drone on about the differences between the imperfect and the preterit, I couldn’t help but begin to look around the room, to people watch. Why? Well, because that’s what I do. It was interesting though, because as I sat in the tiniest desk, which is luckily the closest one to the door, I began comparing people’s needs; their need for attention, their need for solitude, and their need for music are just the beginning.

Luckily, this is a class where I have a few close friends, so naturally I tend to watch them for various irrelevant reasons. Majority of the time, it’s hysterical to watch the two of them; I have the best angle on them, too. There’s only one desk that separates them, and their expressions and actions are blatantly displayed as if it were for my viewing pleasure. Of course, they’re two boys, and for the sake of making things less complicated, we’ll call them John and Ryan. Best part is that they despise one another. John will get an answer wrong, so Ryan will send his hand soaring into the air faster than a frog reaches for a fly. When Ryan gets the answer right, his jaw flexes upward a notch as he give a smug glance in John’s direction. Also, if Ryan makes a comment that John perceives as drivel, John can’t simply roll his eyes and let people be. No, it has to be more complicated than that. So, he’ll turn in my direction and mouth a rant about how dumb Ryan is, which might be interesting if I weren’t nearsighted. Then there are the little things they do: angling away from each other, subtly looking in the other’s direction to see if he’s failing, arguing between drumming and playing guitar, the flinches they make when hearing the other’s voice, the immediate mix of anger, sorrow, and jealousy when the other’s name is mentioned. It all plays into each of their needs to make himself feel superior.

On the not-so-lucky end, this is a class where I get to deal with that kid in school, the one who thinks he’s an individual and boasts about it nonstop. This is the one who, when we get a test back, always makes a comment about how bad he did. It doesn’t matter if he got high eighties or even nineties, you’d be guaranteed to win any bet placed on him making a comment. And I sit and I watch him, constantly laughing as loud as possible to a joke that wasn’t funny, acting negative whenever he gets the chance, and overall never shutting up. In certain cases, this could just be a normal teenage thing. But, should one deep look be taken in his direction, his secrets are revealed. The rigidity in the way he does things, constant need for noise, as well as the little sparkle of desperation set in the back of his eyes conspire to give him away. It’s a shame that one should have to feel the burden of that insecurity, but even more so that no one should bother to notice the excessive effort he puts into actions that should be like breathing.

These kids were just in my Spanish class, never mind my other classes. Simply paying ten minutes worth of attention was needed to gain their needs. Whether it be for acceptance or for superiority, human nature betrays us all. Pay the ten minutes worth. It could be the difference between comforting someone who needs it and having them cuss you out for commenting on their shirt.

Reading Rage

Sitting on the other side of a littered kitchen table, he sits, unmoving. Allowing his eyes to smolder in my direction is all he can do, for he doesn’t like where this is going. Once more I’ve said something wrong, chosen a bad topic, and now he’s pissed as hell. Remaining quiet, he gets a question fired in his direction; it’s a selfish move, but I need to hear his voice. I shut my eyes to listen; his voice confirms that he’s angry. But what tells me this? His signs. Like any person, he has signs that give away his anger. Learning the general signs can help when dealing with situations like this.

Merely observing a person’s body language will allow you to see the fuse shorten as their temper is ignited. A lot of the time, a person who is angry will be incredibly tense. Her hands will be clenched, even if it’s to the point where her nails are digging into her palm. His jaw may be clenched as if he’s caging his tongue, preventing it from forming words he’ll later regret. Another tension can be seen in the eyes, which are either narrowed or widened with intense fury. Then there’s also the fidget factor; this is when the person is so pissed that they can’t sit still. Like the kid in school; the one who will spend entire classes starting back, shifting forward, readjusting his baseball hat, and leaning back again. Then again, it could also be the girls who draw figure eights with their feet by crossing and uncrossing their legs. All of which are noticeable changes; at least, when you’re looking for them.

On top of body language, there’s various tell tale signs in the voice. An aggravated person will usually get a hard voice. It doesn’t have many fluctuations, or in other words, it is very close to being monotone. The words will be very staccato; a word will only be drawn out when the person is trying to control his anger. When the control fails completely, the words become voluminous and direct. The direct aspect has to do with insults. The more a person tries to control her anger, the more subtle her insults will be. On the other hand, should she lose control, the insults will be a flat out “you suck.” Also, control usually gives more logical insults, where as no control leads to insulting just for the sake of insulting. Telling that someone is angry can be done by just hearing their voice, as if you were on the phone.

Reading the anger within a person can be extremely difficult. While one of these may fit, angry may not be the reasoning. It requires knowing a person and having many of these fit the moment. Unless you get a rise out of a person being angry, I suggest either changing the subject or asking what’s wrong when these signs are seen. Knowing which to choose requires practice and observation, so don’t hesitate to put yourself out there in order to learn.

word count: 511

A Decision’s Decadence

The ability to understand people isn’t something we’re born with. While some are more apt to learning than others, the knowledge must still be gained through hard work. Unlike every child’s attempt to dig to China, the work done here is well worth it.

Through studying people and research, the ability to understand people becomes clearer, dragging its benefits along behind it. Some of the decisions that are sometimes needed are required after a short period of time. This type of understanding is usually a generalized one. Oddly enough, the use of generalizing requires much more practice because it takes time to define the generalizations and to realize when to use each. It helps in various occasions that have a short amount of time. A specific example would be deciding whether or not a person you just met, who had offered to give you a nickname, would give you reasonable nickname. Understanding people could be the difference between The King and Bathroom Boy.

Opposing the quick decisions stands the long, drawn-out decisions. The ones that make you spend hours upon hours, days upon days, just thinking about the possible choices. Then there’s the time on top of that, spent construing every possible outcome for each choice. Nobody enjoys this month long process, but luckily, understanding people can make this easier too. It’s easier than making three payments of nineteen ninety-nine; it’s even easier than listening to the voice that has to say that ten million times. This is because understanding people can help if there are other people involved. Obviously this complicates things, for you need to know each person on a more in-depth level. Once they’re known, you can predict how they’ll react to each option that you have. This can be the difference between casting a smile on your face and casting your arm in plastic.

The last general benefit of understanding a person comes when you’re trying to help somebody else. Understanding can help people infinitely in this case, because the information isn’t always served up on a plate like a toaster strudel straight out of the microwave. The less information you’re given, the more you have to work to understand. In order to give good advice you always want to understand all sides of the problem. This can mean talking to a person and reading his body language, or it can mean watching how he interacts with other people in and out of the situation. It’s no question that your understanding of each side effects the advice you give. Your advice and therefore your understanding could be the difference between landing with the leaves as they settle down and kicking up a storm.

Understanding can help you help yourself as well as others. That is more rewarding than getting to China, shutting off stupid advertisements, and receiving a mouth-watering toaster strudel combined. Understanding aids in so many cases like this, yet people still don’t bother to make any attempt to understand one another. Don’t be one of those provincial fools.

word count: 504

A Head Full Of Hints

For centuries, artists have tried to convey emotions through the portrait of another. Based on the portrait’s features, any viewer can look at the picture and feel that emotion racing through their veins. While an artist will use colors to emphasize a particular emotion, a practiced eye can still pick up on the emotions of an actual person. Of course, the person’s entire body conspires to reveal his emotions, but just his face will sell himself out.

As a young man reaches his arm around the waist of the nearest woman, it is her ruby lips that cause his hand to pull away. Here, it is partially the tension that sets her lips a straight line that sends his hand spiraling back to his side. Her lips could’ve just as easily settled into a soft smile, allowing him to place his hand upon her hip. It’s all hanging on the amount of tension that draws the lips into a straight line. The more tension in her lips, the straighter the line they make, and the greater the amount of displeasure that pulses through her thoughts. Similar to the lips, the jaw also fluctuates based on tension. The strain caused when the jaw is clasped shut is usually sudden, making it an easy feature to pick up on. This sudden rigidity, the swift clasp of her teeth, could have sent the message just as clearly. Maybe it was the slight pout caused by her jaw sliding forward, clearly displaying her urge to whip around and slap his arm away. The jaw is a mark of tension or anger or, in some cases, reluctance. All of these slight motions would have sent her disapproval careening in his direction. Taking account of these simple details can lead to understanding pieces of the person’s thoughts or emotions.

Just as the lips and jaws lock into a setting, spilling all of her secrets, the tilt of her head tells just as much. In confusion, she’ll tilt her head to the left; it’s always left. In reaction to her question, he’ll tilt his chin up slightly. Even though it demonstrates how easily he’ll get defensive, it’s his way of looking down on her. It’s an attempt to make the other person seem small, hopefully causing her to back down. More lucidly, this shift is a method of self defense, portraying something powerful when it’s not there. Her reaction, another message sent through the tilt of a head, is less subtle. She drops her head forward, feeling both upset and disappointed. Here, the tilts of their heads divulge confusion, a defensive manner, and a hurt flow of emotions. Learning to recognize these shifts can lead to a better understanding of a single person or people in general.

The tilt of a head, the setting of the lips, and the position of a jaw send messages to those willing to receive them. Whether it is aimed at an artist or a random stranger, the features are still set in place in order to provide some type of communication. It is up to the receiver to decide how the knowledge is used, either opening the Golden Gates or unleashing Pandora’s Box.

word count: 532

Liabilities of Lying

Telling a lie is a battle against human nature; it is attempting to replicate the natural habits to an unfathomable degree. This leaves space for mistakes, habits that leak the true feelings and thoughts of any person. Through mere observations, people have learned to detect lies. This is due to the fact that, with any common aspect, human nature has patterns; observing these aspects, such as lying, causes these patterns to become clear.

A common way in which people reveal their true thoughts is through body language, so it is no surprise that it doesn’t fail to reveal when a person is lying. A liar will most often turn away from the person he or she is speaking to; this can mean the entire body, just the legs, or just the head. Not to mention, the resistance to looking the other person in the eye; the liar will usually look up to the right, stimulating the creative side of the brain. A more elaborate lie will require more imagination; therefore the liar will look up to the right more often. Additionally, the dishonest person will attempt to simulate the responses of an honest person; this can either hurt or help. For a liar who has not yet mastered his or her facial expressions, they seem stiff. Authors refer to this habit constantly within their writing; it’s always something along the lines of “he smiled at me, but the smile did not reach his eyes.” This role is commonly left for the lover that lies in attempt to spare the other. Also, the liar will become unbearably fidgety. A continuous stream of motions will spill from their veins; they’ll twist and untwist their fingers or place object after object in between the liar and the innocent. The body language can range from something as blatant as placing a bowl of popcorn in the middle of two people, to something as subtle as the motion of the hazy-green eyes that twitch to the upward-right corner of the room.

Actions may speak louder than words, but that does not mean that the words do not speak. Even words in text, plainly written for any eyes, can be picked apart. While this is vague and requires more of a background to the person, a small hint about contractions can help sway previous thoughts. It’s simply that contractions flow more fluently through honest writing, while a liar will attempt to sound sophisticated and more knowledgeable on the subject. When a question is asked, the lie will most commonly be treated as an open response question. The liar is pulled back to the days in elementary school, where his English teacher taught him to answer a question by simply restating it. It’s even the short responses, like “yes, I am okay,” that can seem awkward or out of place for a certain person to be saying. Of course, this comes when the person isn’t attempting to give the ever-classic half-lie, which is only a statement that implies the lie. Teens favor this form of lying, especially when it comes to their parents and a party with no adult supervision. Not to mention, there’s always that one girl that will prattle on about the smallest of tasks. A simple “how was your weekend,” turns into an hour long speech, until it reaches the point where it seems unctuous. With words, a lie will sometimes flow just like the body language, stiff and unfamiliar, while other times it will be the complete opposite and give too much information.

To detect a lie, it doesn’t necessarily require understanding why, but it requires an understanding of human nature. The signs and patterns weave throughout life, begging to be understood by anyone who thinks ignorance isn’t bliss.

word count: 626

Walk Which Way?

Each breath drawn, each step taken, and each word formed tells a story of the person performing these actions. Anyone familiar enough with human nature can spend hours observing a person and have the ability to define each characteristic that that person contains. Even if the person has put up a wall against the world, the ability to see through to their core remains. A simple characteristic which is the foundation of all others can be seen with a simple observation of how a person walks.

For every person, there’s a way of thinking; each way of thinking is portrayed through different postures when walking. One posture is one that leads with the person’s head. When the head is shifted forward, much like you think a snake’s is when it’s filled with curiosity, it reveals logical thought. Like the geek that walks hunched over in school, this person is usually intelligent. Otherwise, it’s like the troubled student that hunches just the same, mulling over the various solutions to his problem, calculating which is best. Next is the ever-classic posture where the person leads with his or her chest, or more specifically his or her heart. This is the pride that surges in the young man as he goes out to accomplish his dreams. It’s the nervous girl who races to be alongside the one she loves. These people follow their heart, their dreams, what they want; it’s all that matters to them. The last common sign is when a person leads with his or her hips. Usually portraying physical or instinctive thoughts, this walk is often associated only with girls. Even so, it is just as common for guys as is for girls. It is the girl that walks down the hall with confidence in her body, just as it is the guy who believes he out ranks the rest. With each of these foundations, or patterns of thought, it doesn’t matter if it’s just for a day or even just for a couple of hours, it will show.

The manner in which a person walks doesn’t just reveal the way in which he or she is thinking; it can also divulge that person’s self esteem. A common sign is hidden within the arms where the range of motion is the key. A person who exudes confidence is usually less controlled with their arms, meaning they have a wide range of motion. This is the girl who parades through the halls, the one who will take even the toughest guy out with her arms if he isn’t careful. The opposite of her is the fairy-like girl, slender and quiet, who will keep her arms close, if not right by her side, when she walks, dancing out of anyone’s way. The impish girl keeps her arms close due to a lack of confidence, something everyone hits at one point or another. Another common indicator is in the bounce; a confident girl will strut, while a quiet girl might glide. Just as a confidence level can both sky rocket and plummet within a single hour, the walk will change to mirror each of those changes in confidence.

Simple signs that everyone portrays, yet few notice. They reveal the stories of motivation and confidence as they rise and drop, twist and turn, and appear and vanish. It’s all a coded language that every being speaks, although few realize they’re fluent in it.

word count: 569