Why Me?

The summer sun blazes down on the town’s population. Couples roam the streets among the quaint shops. One couple laughs harmoniously, unaware of the world around them, while another holds a stiff muscled girl, attempting to strut on her own. Even more people, walking alone and walking with others, saunter through the streets. And where do I come in? I’m the third wheel of one of those groups. Instead of listening to my best friend and her boyfriend prattle on about mushy gushy stuff, I find more interest in the people I don’t even know. I have more reasons to pay attention to them than I do to my friends.

One of the biggest reasons for my curiosity in people has to do with trust. I don’t trust people, and I know that I’m not the only one. Being able to read people allows you to judge how much trust you can put into a person. It doesn’t matter how fast you can read people, so long as you can. Trusting a person, who you think is flighty, may be a risk. When you need her most, she could very well flit away, not caring that you were at a breakage point. Also, there’s reading moments. A best friend, whom you trust with every minuscule detail that goes on in your life, can become the most belligerent person when angered and the most self-centered person when upset. With the ability to read when she’s in one of those moods before she even speaks, you can avoid trusting that person at the wrong time. Simply stated, reading people is majorly kick-butt when deciding how much to trust someone.

On a shallow side, people-watching alleviates awkward moments. I am one of those people who tend to find themselves in awkward moments; it’s wonderful being the odd man out. If you are someone like me, people-watching is your solution. Unless you find your awkward situation in a secluded area, entertainment and education lie within those around you. The more people around other than you, the more easily removed from the situation. Although, it’s usually helpful to multitask. This means keeping track of the group, what they’re doing and what they’re saying, as well as watching people. This is important because you don’t want to miss a chance to be less of an outcast should your friend present you with that chance. While the actual ability to read people isn’t on the vanguard here, the attempt to learn is on the vanguard. Here, it’s the attempt to learn that distracts your mind from the present situation.

Hobbies are also a major role in people’s lives, and understanding how people function can sometimes help people with their hobbies. Some of the things I do that require knowledge of people include writing and drawing. These interests can be used to convey the emotions of real or fictional characters. In order to do this efficiently, a basic level of understanding is needed. You can’t depict a person, who is angry, if you don’t know how an angry person acts. Even drawing requires noticing the difference in appearance, the muscles that tighten and the overall posture. The effect of these, as well as many other hobbies, increases as your understanding of people increases.

People are an ever evolving species. Our culture is ever-changing and the way in which we interact changes with it. Staying on top of how people and how they work has endless benefits. And it doesn’t hurt that people-watching can be done pretty much anywhere. There’s no reason to not make an attempt to understand those around you. So, should you find yourself waiting in a Dunkin Donuts for your friend or hot date, take the five minutes to further understand; it’s worth it.

word count: 629

It's the Spanish Sparkle *

Sitting in Spanish, listening to Sra. Moreno drone on about the differences between the imperfect and the preterit, I couldn’t help but begin to look around the room, to people watch. Why? Well, because that’s what I do. It was interesting though, because as I sat in the tiniest desk, which is luckily the closest one to the door, I began comparing people’s needs; their need for attention, their need for solitude, and their need for music are just the beginning.

Luckily, this is a class where I have a few close friends, so naturally I tend to watch them for various irrelevant reasons. Majority of the time, it’s hysterical to watch the two of them; I have the best angle on them, too. There’s only one desk that separates them, and their expressions and actions are blatantly displayed as if it were for my viewing pleasure. Of course, they’re two boys, and for the sake of making things less complicated, we’ll call them John and Ryan. Best part is that they despise one another. John will get an answer wrong, so Ryan will send his hand soaring into the air faster than a frog reaches for a fly. When Ryan gets the answer right, his jaw flexes upward a notch as he give a smug glance in John’s direction. Also, if Ryan makes a comment that John perceives as drivel, John can’t simply roll his eyes and let people be. No, it has to be more complicated than that. So, he’ll turn in my direction and mouth a rant about how dumb Ryan is, which might be interesting if I weren’t nearsighted. Then there are the little things they do: angling away from each other, subtly looking in the other’s direction to see if he’s failing, arguing between drumming and playing guitar, the flinches they make when hearing the other’s voice, the immediate mix of anger, sorrow, and jealousy when the other’s name is mentioned. It all plays into each of their needs to make himself feel superior.

On the not-so-lucky end, this is a class where I get to deal with that kid in school, the one who thinks he’s an individual and boasts about it nonstop. This is the one who, when we get a test back, always makes a comment about how bad he did. It doesn’t matter if he got high eighties or even nineties, you’d be guaranteed to win any bet placed on him making a comment. And I sit and I watch him, constantly laughing as loud as possible to a joke that wasn’t funny, acting negative whenever he gets the chance, and overall never shutting up. In certain cases, this could just be a normal teenage thing. But, should one deep look be taken in his direction, his secrets are revealed. The rigidity in the way he does things, constant need for noise, as well as the little sparkle of desperation set in the back of his eyes conspire to give him away. It’s a shame that one should have to feel the burden of that insecurity, but even more so that no one should bother to notice the excessive effort he puts into actions that should be like breathing.

These kids were just in my Spanish class, never mind my other classes. Simply paying ten minutes worth of attention was needed to gain their needs. Whether it be for acceptance or for superiority, human nature betrays us all. Pay the ten minutes worth. It could be the difference between comforting someone who needs it and having them cuss you out for commenting on their shirt.

Reading Rage

Sitting on the other side of a littered kitchen table, he sits, unmoving. Allowing his eyes to smolder in my direction is all he can do, for he doesn’t like where this is going. Once more I’ve said something wrong, chosen a bad topic, and now he’s pissed as hell. Remaining quiet, he gets a question fired in his direction; it’s a selfish move, but I need to hear his voice. I shut my eyes to listen; his voice confirms that he’s angry. But what tells me this? His signs. Like any person, he has signs that give away his anger. Learning the general signs can help when dealing with situations like this.

Merely observing a person’s body language will allow you to see the fuse shorten as their temper is ignited. A lot of the time, a person who is angry will be incredibly tense. Her hands will be clenched, even if it’s to the point where her nails are digging into her palm. His jaw may be clenched as if he’s caging his tongue, preventing it from forming words he’ll later regret. Another tension can be seen in the eyes, which are either narrowed or widened with intense fury. Then there’s also the fidget factor; this is when the person is so pissed that they can’t sit still. Like the kid in school; the one who will spend entire classes starting back, shifting forward, readjusting his baseball hat, and leaning back again. Then again, it could also be the girls who draw figure eights with their feet by crossing and uncrossing their legs. All of which are noticeable changes; at least, when you’re looking for them.

On top of body language, there’s various tell tale signs in the voice. An aggravated person will usually get a hard voice. It doesn’t have many fluctuations, or in other words, it is very close to being monotone. The words will be very staccato; a word will only be drawn out when the person is trying to control his anger. When the control fails completely, the words become voluminous and direct. The direct aspect has to do with insults. The more a person tries to control her anger, the more subtle her insults will be. On the other hand, should she lose control, the insults will be a flat out “you suck.” Also, control usually gives more logical insults, where as no control leads to insulting just for the sake of insulting. Telling that someone is angry can be done by just hearing their voice, as if you were on the phone.

Reading the anger within a person can be extremely difficult. While one of these may fit, angry may not be the reasoning. It requires knowing a person and having many of these fit the moment. Unless you get a rise out of a person being angry, I suggest either changing the subject or asking what’s wrong when these signs are seen. Knowing which to choose requires practice and observation, so don’t hesitate to put yourself out there in order to learn.

word count: 511